I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize