C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
