I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
You are a genius and a whore.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
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