I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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