You really coming over, don't trick.
You smell like stripper and shame
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize