i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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