She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
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