his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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