you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
