Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
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