i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Duck Duck Cougar?
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
