why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
