There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
