When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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