So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
