I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
just found out that she named her cat after me.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Randomize
