dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
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