Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
She needs sedatives and a leash
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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