I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
