it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Randomize
