ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
