I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Randomize
