My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize