he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
