There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
