It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
