He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Randomize
