Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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