I wanna bring you to show and tell
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Randomize
