first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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