Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
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