Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
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