talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
