i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
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