There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
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