so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
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You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
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Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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