hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Small penises have feelings too.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
