i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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