I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
