im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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