Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
