Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
