his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Randomize
