ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
My penis needs a shock collar
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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