Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
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