I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
