is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Randomize
