Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
