thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
