I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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