Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize