they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
